Don’t Let Anger Age You; Learn To Deal With It In A Healthy Way

Anger is a normal human emotion that everyone experiences. But, how you deal with anger can have a profound effect on your health and particularly on the aging process. Suppressing your anger may be making you old before your time. Failing to deal with anger has been linked to numerous physical and mental ailments. One study showed that women who suppressed their anger during arguments, particularly arguments with spouses, were more likely to die prematurely from various diseases such as cancer or cardiovascular disease than women who expressed their anger. Finding healthy ways to express your anger will help to maintain your health and possibly even slow down the aging process.

Women will often express their angry feelings to members of their families, especially their spouses, even if these people are not really the source of the problem. Feeling secure enough in their relationships to express their feelings is a positive step in dealing with anger, but some constraints are needed. Yelling, cursing and placing blame can alienate the other person and nothing is accomplished by such behavior. Children in particular can be confused when they are being yelled at when you are really mad at someone else. Uncontrolled expressions of anger can cause family problems.

Several physiological changes occur when you experience anger. The “fight-or-flight” response is activated. Adrenaline gets pumped up, the heart beats more rapidly, respiration becomes rapid and shallow and digestion stops. Experiencing frequent bursts of anger takes its toll on the body. It is a contributing factor to higher rates of heart disease, high blood pressure and other illnesses. If you have a Type-A personality, the effects can be even more harmful. Anger also affects your mental capabilities. It can slow down your problem-solving abilities and make it difficult to make decisions. Anger slows the thinking process and your ability to rationalize. It also adversely affects your energy and creativity.

Learning to deal with anger will provide both mental and physical benefits, and will also help to preserve and enhance the interpersonal relationships in your life. Hiding the rage and frustration that you feel does more harm than good. Keeping these feelings inside can chip away at your health and well-being. The solution is to get angry but do not stay angry. Take the time to cool off and identify the source of the problem. Getting angry is not as harmful as staying angry. If you deal with your anger in a quick and effective way, the damage to your health is minimal.

Women tend to stew over their anger for up to an hour before calming down. This is the time when the physical damage is done. To avoid focusing on your anger at times like this, engage in a physical activity such as going for a walk, riding a bicycle or swimming. Even house cleaning may take your mind off of your anger. Exercise helps burn off the adrenaline created by the “fight-or-flight” response, giving you the opportunity to think more clearly about how to deal with your angry feelings. Another solution is to take a break. Find a quiet spot to sit and practice relaxation techniques. Breathe deeply and think calming thoughts or picture yourself in a peaceful, soothing place.

Be aware of situations that you know may cause an angry reaction and try to avoid putting yourself in those situations. When something happens that provokes anger, try to put things in perspective and look at the positive side of the situation. Express your feelings without placing blame or telling others how they have failed in what they should have done. It is best to use “I” when attempting to tell someone how a certain situation made you feel. Using “you” can put others on the defensive. It can sound accusatory and may accelerate the argument rather than resolving it.

Try to associate with people who have happy dispositions rather than those who are often angry. Being around rational people who are able to find solutions to problems will improve your ability to do the same. Join groups and get involved in your community since anger can result from loneliness.

If you have trouble expressing your anger, learn to be assertive. It is often helpful to put your feelings in writing, especially if you are uncomfortable with face to face encounters. This also gives you the chance to consider carefully and rationally what you wish to express. You will feel more in control if you are not pushed into a sudden confrontation.

Expressing anger in a calm, rational way is an important aspect of your mental and physical health. Letting anger fester inside you will affect your life in many negative ways. On the other hand, letting rage take over and expressing it irrationally and without regard for the feelings of others will be harmful to you and your relationships. Learn to handle your feelings of anger constructively and calmly to keep your body, mind and relationships healthy.